


A Sour Saviour

by Loopstagirl



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Attempted non-con (not explicit), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-25 00:37:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1622672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loopstagirl/pseuds/Loopstagirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin had pushed Arthur away instead of committing. He didn't realise what he had started.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Both chapters were written for two Camelot_Drabble prompts so figured I would post them.  
> Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights belong to their respective owners.

“Cheer up, mate.”

Merlin tried to force a smile on his face at Gwaine’s words, but knew his friend saw straight through it. He was trying; he really was. They didn’t deserve him in this sort of mood, not after all of this time. It had been nearly a month and his company was still as lousy as it had been after he had realised he had just made the worst mistake of his life. Somehow, that made it all the worse knowing he had brought it upon himself. He didn’t deserve them trying to cheer him up.

“Sorry,” Merlin muttered, cradling his beer and realising he had only taken a sip or two. After weeks of ducking his friends, they had turned up en mass at his flat and practically dragged him out with them. Merlin hadn’t resisted – he just thought he was lucky they would still bother with him after he had been ignoring their calls for days on end. They were worried about him. If he was honest, Merlin was worried about himself.

“I should probably get going.”

“No way. You are staying here until you are suitably drunk enough to pour out what is on your mind to your nearest and dearest so you will quit with the moping around. It’s giving _me_ grey hairs, so for the sake of my looks you need to get drunk.”

This time, Merlin properly smiled. Typical Gwaine to be able to make him smile even when he just wanted to cry and hide, just to make sure he didn’t bump into…

It couldn’t be.

This was his first night out since the break-up, he couldn’t be here. Not now. Not when Merlin was here.

He must have gone pale, for Gwaine leant across the table anxiously and grasped his wrist before turning and swearing.

“Merlin, I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

“It’s okay,” Merlin muttered, finding his eyes were drinking in the sight of Arthur. He looked good; he always looked good. But even after a month, Merlin’s heart ached at the sight of him. He had been in love, he knew that now. He had just been scared of commitment and pushed Arthur away rather than holding onto him.  “Maybe I should talk to him? Maybe it would help?”

This time, however, Gwaine was the one to go slightly pale.

“Not a good time, Merlin, mate. How about we move on to somewhere else?”

“What don’t you want me to know?” Merlin knew Gwaine well; he knew that the man was hiding something. Gwaine made to open his mouth, but another voice – much louder – got there first.

“Arthur! There you are!” Merlin watched as someone he could only describe as a brute ambled through the door and draped an arm over Arthur’s shoulders, pulling him close and kissing him. And Arthur kissed him back.

Merlin felt sick.

There was a sour taste in his mouth, as if something had crawled in there and died. This was what Gwaine didn’t want him seeing.

“He’s seeing someone?” Merlin was proud of how steady his voice came out, but he could feel the tears pricking at his eyes. Of course Arthur was seeing someone – he was gorgeous, loveable and prepared to offer his heart. Unlike Merlin had been. And now he felt like someone had just ripped his heart out and stamped on it.

“We could go, you don’t have to see this,” Gwaine muttered, clearly knowing without turning around that Arthur and his partner were still making out. Merlin shook his head.

“No,” he said, “it’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine. It hurt. Hurt like hell. And that is why he had to stay. To prove to himself that if Arthur could move on, then so could he. Arthur had found happiness again – and a new found confidence, for Merlin knew he would have been far too embarrassed to kiss this deeply in public before. This was his punishment for pushing the man away and Merlin was determined he was going to endure it.

But the evening had been spoilt and his mood got darker as Arthur’s new partner got progressively more and more drunk, and it resulted in him becoming more lewd with Arthur. Even from a distance, Merlin knew he had been wrong. Arthur wasn’t happy. He could see it in the defeated slump of his shoulders when his boyfriend kept a hand at the very least on his thigh all night, possessive and dominant.

It was nearing 11pm when Merlin decided he couldn’t take any more. Arthur and his man had vanished and Merlin knew this would be a good time to make a move so there was no risk of being seen. Muttering to Gwaine about needing to go to the bathroom, Merlin finally drained his drink and stumbled into the gents.

The last thing he expected to see was Arthur again. With one arm bent up behind his back, a hand over his mouth, being held against one of the stalls with his so called partner groping him despite Arthur clearly resisting.

“Hey!”

The drunk turned to look at him and sneered.

“Plenty to share, just get in line, mate.”

Merlin saw red. He barely even noticed the shock on Arthur’s face as he clearly recognised Merlin’s voice, nor the tears in his eyes at the degradation he was being subjected to. All Merlin was focusing on was getting the brute off the man he loved. He thought he might have even said something along those lines as he punched him as hard as he could. Luckily, the noise the man made as he fell brought others running and Gwaine quickly took control.

“M-Merlin?” Arthur whispered, his eyes still wide. Merlin smiled. The sour taste in his mouth had gone, warmth settling into his heart. Nothing would happen – he wouldn’t dream of taking advantage of Arthur being shaken up. But hopefully it would be enough to start them talking again.

“Come on, I’m taking you home.”


	2. Chapter 2

“I’ll leave you get some rest,” Merlin murmured softly. He had made Arthur a strong cup of tea – knowing exactly the way he liked it – and the man was now curled up on the sofa, cradling it close with a blanket over his shoulders. It had to be nearly 1AM and Gwaine had just text to say the police had picked up Valiant. Merlin wasn’t sure what Arthur would want to do next – whether he was going to press charges or – but all he could focus on now was that the news had finally stopped Arthur from trembling. He looked exhausted and Merlin didn’t want to just hover.

“Don’t.” Arthur’s voice was barely audible, but there was no denying the twitch his arm gave, as if he had been about to reach out to Merlin and then caught himself at the last moment. But even more obvious than that was the plea in his eyes. Merlin smiled gently and sat back down. If Arthur still wanted him there, then that was precisely where he was going to be.

“I’m sorry you saw that…” Arthur started again, but Merlin found himself going rigid.

“Don’t you dare apologise, Arthur. Why would you be sorry that I saw you with someone? I was the one who ruined things between us. I’m just glad that I was there to help.”

Arthur caught his eye as he spoke and for a moment, Merlin was sure he saw something flare in otherwise tired eyes. A shadow of the love they had shared. Merlin knew he had made a mistake, and knew that he was still in love with Arthur. But after breaking the man’s heart, there was no way he expected Arthur to feel the same. That look, however, made him wonder if Arthur hadn’t let him go any more than Merlin had.

“How… I mean, why… I was just wondering…”

“Why I was with him?” Arthur supplied and Merlin nodded even though he was blushing.

“I know it’s not my business…”

“It is. It is because… it was because of you. I wanted to see if I could be with someone without giving my heart, so I would understand you better. I knew what I was letting myself in for the first time…” Arthur’s voice trailed off and Merlin saw the way his shoulders were shaking again. Without thinking what he was doing, he wrapped his own arm around Arthur and held him close. Arthur’s reaction seemed just as automatic; he shifted until he could lean his head against Merlin’s shoulder and let himself be held.

“Did he hurt you?” Merlin was proud of how controlled his voice was, but luckily Arthur shook his head.

“It was rough, not like…” The ` _we had`_ was left unsaid but Merlin tightened his grip nonetheless. “But it was nothing that I didn’t consent to. Not until… not until tonight.”

“And never again,” Merlin found himself vowing. After the words had left his lips, he found himself freezing. He had no right to interfere in Arthur’s life, not after what he had done. Arthur, however, didn’t seem to notice what he had just said. Or if he did, he didn’t mind for he simply curled up closer to Merlin.

“It was easy to not give my heart though,” Arthur suddenly said after a few moments silence. Merlin blinked himself awake, realising the comforting weight of Arthur leaning against him had been something that he had missed more than words could say. It wasn’t fair to feel this all again now after so long.

“Oh?” He found himself saying, just because Arthur seemed to want an answer. The blond sat up, the blanket falling away as he twisted. He put his mug down, but Merlin was too busy focusing on the hand resting on his chest to truly notice.

“Easy because someone else still had it,” Arthur whispered and before Merlin could even think anything – let alone say it – Arthur had leant forward. Merlin knew this was a bad idea, Arthur was probably in shock or something. But as soon as his lips brushed across Merlin’s, he knew he was helpless to resist.

How long they kissed for, Merlin didn’t know. But when he felt Arthur shifting again to get into a better position, his senses returned and he gently took hold of Arthur’s shoulders, pushing him away.

“No?” Arthur asked, disappointment in his voice. Merlin sighed.

“I want to say yes more than anything, Arthur. But I hurt you. And you’ve been through an ordeal tonight. I want you to be sure about this.”

“I am…”

“And I want us to take it slow this time,” Merlin continued, continuing to hold Arthur back. “I love you. I always have. And I’m sorry for the things I said and my refusal to look at a place for the two of us. I’ve never been in love before, and I was scared. What I did was unforgiveable.”

“I forgive you though,” Arthur said earnestly. “Don’t you see? I love you too. I knew that I could never stop loving you the first time Val…”

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” Merlin cut in quickly. He had only just begun to get Arthur to relax. “But don’t think I don’t want this. I just don’t want to ruin it.”

“You won’t,” Arthur breathed, and this time, Merlin was helpless to stop him. Arthur’s kisses had always been enough to drive him wild. But this time, it was Arthur who pulled back, respect for Merlin’s decision in his eyes.

“Will you stay tonight? Not… not for anything to happen. I just don’t want to be alone. Hold me?”

Merlin smiled and nodded, holding out his arms. They both shifted until Arthur was in-between his legs, leaning back on him with his head on Merlin’s chest. As he felt Arthur fall asleep, Merlin smiled and dropped a kiss onto the top of his head.

They had a chance.


End file.
